Krayon's audio Reviews on Newgrounds

[Stigmata of the Weak 2009]

Very good composition

Ahhh bugger, now I have a reputation as a reviewer to uphold. Darn, didn't see that one coming.
Don't worry, I enjoy it, most of the time :P.

Make no mistake, the composition of this piece is excellent and has improved a good deal from the previous iterations. You have a very high quality work here, and the soundscape is excellent.

You've obviously spent a lot of work at it, and I can already tell that your attitude as a musician is to constantly improve your craft, something I cannot give you enough credit for.

That said, what comes next could seem harsh. I'm not entirely sure what's next, but I've got a feeling I'm not going to be merciful about those extra 2 points...

You've obviously read previous reviews I've done, perhaps of your pieces, perhaps not, I cannot remember things from five minutes ago (literally) let alone what I might have reviewed ages ago. But I digress, you can take some good advice from some of those reviews (particularly the longer ones), advice that I probably won't include here. That said, I've very rarely covered the topic of relevance, and I've taken Danman87 up on that, something I believe to be quite important in a piece.

Hmmm, I'd better phrase this better.

The piece ain't relevant to the subject matter, ie, what's up in that post. Obviously you were aiming for a particular set of themes, however, I think you missed the target. This is part of the reason I usually discribe what the music evokes after completing it, not before. Music is a shifty thing, it changes, it's liquid, never quite the same each time. What we aim for in the beginning isn't always what ends up. To do that, one has to be particularly disciplined the whole project through, harshly critiquing their own work and making sure that it carries the correct tone.

This usually requires time off, preferably listening to other music while you're at it. As going away and forcefully wiping the short term memory of the piece from your head lets you come back later with a fresh pair of eyes. This is relevant in most artistic endeavours. In painting, for example, rotating the image (if possible) 90 degrees can pick out problems almost immediately.

This piece evokes a sense of desolation and darkness. Solitude as well. So if that was what you were aiming for, spot on.

But it does not evoke particularly strong feelings of sorrow and loss, which are often associated with abandonment.

The main issue is that there is not a strong melody to the piece, it doesn't have a particularly strong theme to it. For an example of what I mean by melody, check Lilium, which is the main theme from Elfen Lied, one of the few anime's I've watched and not switched off halfway through episode 1. If you can handle graphic nudity, blood and gore and highly adult content, I'd recommend it to you highly, as it is a quality piece of work in general production design, music, and particularly storyline. There are some very powerful themes in that short series.

I digress, the melody of the main theme is simple and elegant. But is particularly useful from an artistic perspective, as it still contains powerful emotion, even in it's simplest form, a music box song.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YF4S3L li6pM&feature=related

In case the music box doesn't sound, check it in this one, starts at about 2.20 onwards:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ozgXPZ h7g8g&feature=related

Your piece lacks an overarching theme, it's more of a soundscape then a song. As a result, it's less powerful. It doesn't evoke strong emotion. Which is always the musician's aim. Giving the piece a simple melody, from which you expand and build upon, would be far more effective.

Furthermore. We remember it. It sticks in your head. You can forget a soundscape, but a simple melody? I think not.

For the exercise, create a song using just a glock, or similar instrument.

Oh dear, running out of words again.

The piece was good. Everything well put together. But it had no defining icon. Nothing we can hum. And thus, we forget.

Good luck Krayon

popraz responds:

Well, actually, this is the first time you've ever reviewed one of my songs. And I'm not disappointed. In fact, I could have used more reviews like this in the past. Indeed, the sense of desolation, darkness and solitude were my main aims, but I agree I might have lost something from my original intentions in the process, probably because I focused too much on the soundscape. Unfortunately the URL's you gave me don't work, but I think I understand what you mean. Thank you for the awesomely thorough review !

[Living in My Dreams]

Perfect, almost

I gotta hand it to ya. I started at a rating of 8, went up to 9 half way through, then just couldn't not give you a 10.

Then I read your description, smiled, and dropped it back to 8.

For relevance sake. :).

I'll get to that in a second, but before I do that, I'd like to make a few comments on the actual song itself.

Standalone, this song is spot on. I cannot truly critique the quality of it's ability to evoke some kind emotion, or the composition. You've chosen a theme and taken it through the whole piece without it getting repetitive. The timing is perfect, and the overall melody is quite beautiful.

And it gets better each time. There is nothing I would change in the piece, as it is.

Unfortunately for you, this is where my nature comes into play as a critic, and where I ask one simple, little question.

And believe me, this is one of the deadliest questions I will ever ask you. Properly appreciated, it will undermine your whole sense of self, your being, your career, your music, your life, how you treat others. Everything.

How far do you want to go?

When you've died, what will they say about you? Were you to die two years from now. What would they say about you? How far did you go?
Every man has a hold of his choices. Every man has a choice each and every day, every second of every moment, they have a choice.

How far will you go?

You do not change things by making a big choice. You change things with each and every little choice that leads up to that choice. Every human's life is built up of billions and billions of successive, little, choices.

So I ask again.

How far will you go?

When the world is at your feet and the songs ringing in your mind. What will you do? When the beat is thundering in your blood and the world a path of endless possibilities. Where will you walk? When the fingers are dancing on the keys and the music sounding in the air. Who will be listening?

You see, the question is about how much you want to achieve. It's about how much you want to do. It's about what goes into a piece. It's about whether you'll put it down and say done.

Or whether you'll go the extra mile.

How far will you go?
Because you see.

It ain't about the big choices. It's about each and every choice you make. It's about defining yourself. And defining your music. About making something that people will remember for centuries.

It's about being Timeless.

Leaving things behind that need no background to appreciate. No race, no colour, no age, nor any knowledge. Only a pair of eyes, or ears, or hands.

It doesn't matter what you do. Just what is done.

So I ask again.

How far do you want to go?

Because that's the crux of things. You've got a perfect piece. But it ain't memorable. It's beautiful, but nobodies gonna remember it. It almost literally goes in one ear and out the other. The composition cannot be critiqued, nor can the melody. The feeling is perfect. And the timing on time.

But it won't be remembered. It doesn't lead anywhere. It tells no great tale, cuts not so deep, it crossed the bridge of infinity. But it never leaps.

Oh dear. I'm rambling again. The whole point of it was to say it's time to move on. You've done a lot of nice pieces. But that's all they really are. Nice pieces. An english teacher of mine said something I'll never forget about the word nice. She said they hate the word nice.

It's just so... nice. It's like saying 'meh', shrugging your shoulders and saying, 'It's good.'

It's just so... non - committal.

It's time to take the next step. To move further, to push yourself, try something new, something unfamiliar. Something that thunders in our ears, boils in our blood and tears into the very recesses of our soul.

You'll not get it the first time, or indeed, maybe not even the thousandth.

But you'll get it.

And when you do.

The world is at your feet. Make something I'll remember. Make it for the world.

I'm outta characters, so if you ask, I'll pm, to elaborate.

Good luck! Krayon

Jabicho responds:

Thanks Krayon! Your review helped me a lot, I started to think about the potential of all pieces I made and that extra thing I could've added to all of them. I know I want to go far, I want to give that extra mile that only a few do. I want to make a piece, pieces, that everyone remembers and reaches them all the way. Pieces that are unique and everyone can be able to say that they're my style and the way they're played is impossible to copy. I'll try all my best, and you're right that maybe I won't succed at first, but I'll keep trying and trying, and I'm sure I'll reach my potential.

thanks again my friend, for taking the time to listen, and giving such a helpful and awesome comment, It reached me deeply and I'm sure it'll help me become a better musician.

[Issho (Together)]

Toooo Quieeet!!!

Ok, I had to turn up the speakers through the onboard volume, and the speaker volume and winamp to hear this enough to start reviewing. Normally, that would leave my ears bleeding. Not straining to catch the details.

Worse, the song is muffled, as in, I can't hear the intricacies of the violin playing. While I understand that they are supposed to be in harmony, they're played in such a way as to dampen the detail and give me a very dry, flat sound.

I really am not catching the feeling here, there isn't enough contrast between the elements. They aren't sharp enough. Comparatively, listening to this is like looking at a blurry picture. You can get that there are details, but you really have to squint to work them out.

That's a bad thing.

The tune is nice enough, but could be a lot better. The piano could be played with a lot more depth and dynamic. And definitely with more passion, more feeling. Right now it just sounds like a bored person plunking at a keyboard. All stiff backed and with a dour expression on their face.

Give the piece a bit more power, more feeling, bring clarity into the violin playing, contrast the elements a bit more, make sure that we can hear each element distinctly if we want to while giving a harmonious whole.

Not a faint whine.

Not too bad, but you still have a long way to go.

Cheers, Krayon.

[In A Time Long Ago]

Hmph

And there I thought you'd gone and offed it, leaving Newgrounds in the wake of your career, but here I find you are still submitting and producing that awesome music.
As usual, you have a firm grasp of dynamics and the intricacies of creating feeling in a piece. There was a slight problem, there's a bit of muffling so it's hard to catch the articulations in the parts where a lot was going on.
Otherwise, brilliant!

5/5
9.5/10

Krayon

[a warrior's journey]

Hum.

Drums were good. I really liked the drums. But I don't think it would be called a warriors journey. It just didn't sound right. Too bright. And a bit strange actually, you have these brightish drums then that backing, was it a wind instrument? I'm not sure, still getting the hang of telling instruments.

Argh. This piece is impossible to review! It's like a demoreel, half a billion different sections with half a theme!

I counted about 4 sections, first drum bit, second drum with backing, third drum bit, then that completely out of context/theme/tune/whatever violin.

That violin should perhaps be stuck on its own, in another song. Redo this piece big time and work out a theme. You have four distinct parts that don't mesh well. Work out which one you want and expand on that. If you want, do it in a four part series. But as it stands an individual song is supposed to have a singular theme and/or idea. So pick one and stick with it. Show me what you come up with and I'll shred it properly. As this one stands. I can't pull it apart, there's too many disparate elements.

Krayon

clone3872 responds:

i know what you meen about the title
it was all i could come up with.

[Just one Soul - Mjattie]

Oooooh baby

This puppy can go a loooong way. You have the workings of a very powerful theme which could really be expaned with some vocal and orchestral work. It's an excellent tune you have there, but it could really do with a bit more work in depth. There's a heck of a lot of depth that could be added. Layers of instruments and backing that could really make this piece soar.

I don't know how to say it. Basically, you have a skeleton, you need to add some muscles and blood and flesh. The synths work well, but you would do better with more instruments and perhaps even allowing for a vocalist to sing something. That would require some changes, though.

You've captured something. Now you gotta let it free.

Krayon

PS - as it so happens I recently purchased the Complete Composers Collection from EWQL, I need to really get the hang of using it. I wouldn't mind trying it out on this piece. Not that I have much time right now, but hey, gotta start somewhere.

[L'angoisse Romantique III.]

Ho hum

Alright, in the middle of end of term uni assessments and figured I needed a break so I thought I'd check to see if you'd done anything new since my last review.
I know there's a few other ones, but classical's my genre of choice... and I happen to be installing Eastwests Complete Composers Collection... "Please insert Disk 9..." Gah! Three DVD's have screwed up so far and required alternate means of transferring files, including one all nighter.
Anyways, before I commence shredding, can you advise me as to turning this mammoth set of sound samples into something half decent, you know, little tricks you've picked up over the years and things like that. That would be great =).

Ok, now onto the song.
After attempting to deafen myself so I could pick up the subtleties in this somewhat monochromatic piece I shall make one very large note, I am reviewing based on what I hear without the technical stuff. I have had barely any formal classical music education and do not have the foggiest idea what the difference between one latin word and another. So forgive me if I sound crude.

Well, you can tell this song is romantic, but it doesn't elicit much emotional connection on my part. I can't summon a shred of emotion for this, even on loud (which can create a sufficient soundscape to immerse myself in sometimes), so that's one mark down. Especially considering how the title means, correct me if I'm wrong, The Romantic Anguish. You do convey anguish however, which is why I didn't deduct more. It's just that there isn't that internal connection.

Oh goody nine dvd's of piano's have finished loading. Restart time! Why they have nine DVD's for piano's and only one for Voices of Passion, I do not know.

Not sure if it's meant to do that or not, but I can hear a definite distinction between notes, which is noteable in most lesser quality synthesisers, since you don't use low quality samples, there's only two alternatives. Either 1. you were sloppy, and didn't spend enough time tweaking, or 2. you want it that way.
I'm guessing at 2. But that is noticeable, perhaps a bit smoother transitions would be nicer, either that or sharpen the articulation, that would help in some parts.

The length that many of the notes were held for could have been extended just a little bit, not much, but a little bit to drag out the feeling a bit more.

While I understand that the key you are playing this in was a deliberate choice, and that's why it sounds like it is, I probably would have aimed for a foreground melody a bit higher up on the scale which definitely higher high notes. Contrasting the lows and the highs.

Where's the trills man? This is anguish, it needs trills. The notes are flat the whole way through, no particular articulation or waver. Which would help immensely.

Final notes, while the piece does convey the theme, it doesn't carry the theme to the heart, which sterilises it. Anguish is a powerful emotion and this piece perhaps is a greatly dampened version of that, stronger use of articulations and contrast between the high and low notes would help immensely. While anguish does drag on, it hits very hard. This piece fails to convey that. The sheer power of the human emotion striking is not evident.

It's good. But not brilliant.

Krayon

[Waiting For The Sunrise]

Ach!

Chorals + synths + computer = horrible.

When doing chorals in electronics you really really really have to work hard on the articulation, vocal depth and variation in tones or it just sounds flat, like this one does.

The sudden stops don't help either.

The theme is calming enough, but it needs a lot of work before it will really go anymore. Chorals like this need a lot of depth and feeling behind them, as well as very careful weaving of the different elements. You have to really work on the smooth, calm of it and use more, lighter vocals.

Varying shades of the same colour, if you will. It's really the only way you can do it. The current backing and foreground is too limited and contrasting to work properly. That combined with the poor application of vocals really doesn't make this song sing.

However, the human voice is a goldmine, dig for all your worth and you'll miss it, but apply a bit of learning, understanding and time, and you can hit a jackpot.

Work on this, you have something there, it just needs a lot more work.

Krayon

kevinkt responds:

Working with Sibelius sound samples does limit me to how much I can control articulations and tambour. I sing in The UH Choir and I know what choir pieces sound like. i am not trying to imitate any typical choir but rather making my own sound. When I give this piece to a real choir I have the background as a composition student to bring out the sound that I want. Again I wish i could afford a sequencer to make the samples sound more human. As for the sudden stops, it is actually supposed to be a nice decrescendo to piano. Sibelius has a hard time with those types of musical expressions. Chorals + synths + computer = horrible but it's all I have sorry

[The Last Intervention]

Its ok.

It's ok, nothing fantastic, but it's good its own right. Drums need a bit more definition, they should be a bit louder and the articulations on the strings need to be a lot sharper, it's a touch muffled because of that.

Good journeying feel combined with a sort of action idea to it, but you'll really need to work on the clarity and quality of the instruments, they sound synthesised, I heard a lot worse, but they do sound synthesised. You could create more depth with stronger backing combined with a foreground instrument. Brass works well in a case like this.

Again, drums need to be reworked, made louder and heavier as well as strengthened.

Yeah, there's a lot you could do. Keep it up.

dicennian responds:

Thanks for the review. Yeah, you are right about the drums. Actually fixed it and uploaded the old file by mistake, took some time before I realized it. Good idea on the brass!

[Meus' Finest Hour]

Ummmm

In case you didn't realise, war, killing, and battle are BAD things. They are SAD things.

Unless this Meus is some demented psychopath and/or physical emobiment of a twisted parody, this song does not suit the topic at all. Excellent song in itself, very good reserved use of strings that really carry a lighthearted and jolly outlook on things that is almost comedic, in fact it is. This is a freakin' parody if you try to put the two together.

Because songs must embody what they are attempting to portray, a failure to do so is a failure in the song itself. Music, like any artform must protray something well if it is supposed to be portraying something at all. This song fails utterly to do so in any way shape or form short of a twisted parody. Thus I cannot give you the decent mark it deserves.